Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
