Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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