I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
