We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
