Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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