Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
True college students do jello shots in the library
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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