Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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