it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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