You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
