went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
