sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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