Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
