there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
