How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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