Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
