Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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