so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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