After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
