great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
