So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
