found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
