she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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