I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
