he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
