So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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