Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This is not my ceiling
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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