new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
