i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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