I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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