Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
