im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
