Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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