How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
