If that was your dad, he is hot
this boner is exhausting
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize