You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
