I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
