ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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