Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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