dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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