I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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