I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
