Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
