Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
