he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
