are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
