ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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