the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
