I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
