i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
