it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
