But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
