In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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