The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
