Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
