its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
