Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
