The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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