The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
