WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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