Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
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I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
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I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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